Change 3- The emergence of the symmetrical family? December 13, 2009

There is the common belief that since the middle of the 20th century, the relations between male and female partners in family life in Britain have become less patriarchal and become much more symmetrical. The assumption is shift from segregated conjugal roles to more integrated conjugal roles.

Different types of roles

Conjugal roles
– simply means the roles played by a male and female partner in marriage or cohabiting relationship.

Segregated conjugal roles
– shows a clear division and separation between the male and female roles (Parsons sexual division of labour)

Integrated conjugal roles
– show few divisions between male and female partners ’roles’

What causes this apparent change in growing equality?

• Improved living standards in the home. The modern consumer-led lifestyles male and female partners to become more home centred building a strong relationship at home.
• The decline of the extended family and greater geographic and social mobility in society means there is less pressure from older generations of kin to retain the traditional gender roles. Making it easier to adopt more new equal roles
• The improved women’s rights are encouraging men to accept women more as equals and not just housewives and mothers.

• The increase of women in paid employment has increased women’s independence and authority within the family. This more equal roles mean decision making is more likely to be shared.

• The importance of the female partners income in the maintaining of the family’s  consumes-led living standards. As a result men have been encouraged to help with housework, in recognition of women being more equal with there contribution to income.
• Weaker gender identities. Postmodernists argue that men and women now have much more choice on how they see themselves and their roles. Couples are free to pick n mix their roles and identity resulting in much less emphasis on the traditional gender roles.

Criticisms of the increase in more equal (symmetrical) roles within married and cohabiting partners

Inequalities in the division of labour in the household
– Evidence from a number of surveys, including the British Social Attitudes surveys, suggest that women still perform the majority of domestic tasks around the home even when they have paid jobs themselves

– The Food Standards Agency’s ‘Consumer Attitudes to Food Standards’ survey (2007) found that 77% of women took all or most responsibility for household food shopping.

– Ann Oakley a feminist sociologist who did much work on housework and roles in the family in ‘The Sociology of housework (1974)’. Oakley argues against Young and Willmott’s evidence for emerging equal roles and refers to the symmetrical family as ‘completely unconvincing’.
72% of married men claimed to help out there partners in the home in some way other than washing up at least once a week. Oakley pointed out this could mean anything,

• a quick pass at vacuuming
• tucking the children into bed
• going out with the kids on Saturday morning
• ironing their own cloths

Hardly evidence that married and cohabiting couples are becoming more equal.

– Oakley wrote in ‘The Sociology of Housework’
“As long as the blame is laid on the woman’s head for an empty larder or a dirty house it is not meaningful to talk about marriage as a ‘joint’ or ‘equal’ partnership. The same holds of parenthood. So long as mothers and not fathers are judged by their children’s  appearance and behaviour…symmetry remains a myth”

The unequal distribution of power and authority in marriage and cohabitating relationships.
– Most decisions which couples think of as ‘very important’ such as moving house or taking out loans are finally taken by men alone. While some decisions are taken jointly, very few are taken by women alone. Edgell, in ‘Middle-Class Couples (1980)’, found woman had sole responsibility for unimportant areas like home decoration, food, children’s clothing and other domestic spending.

– Men are still often the major or sole earners. Putting them in a stronger bargaining position than women and often puts their female partner in a position of economic dependence.

– Male violence  in relationships is used when drunk to get women to submit to their wishes when this occurs the violence is often not taken seriously by the police and dismissed as ‘domestic dispute’. this might be interpreted as a view that violence is a ‘normal’ part of a relationship.

The effects of housework and childcare on women’s careers
– Women who have children are seen as ‘unreliable’ by some employers, because they can assume that they will get pregnant again or be absent to look after sick children.

-Employers are sometimes reluctant to invest in expensive training programmes for women, as they may assume that women will leave work eventually to produce and raise children.

– Women with promising careers may have temporally to leave jobs to have children, and miss out greatly on pay and promotion opportunities.

– Women tend to move location with their male partner if a promotion comes up however men do not tend to move for women’s promotions. This means women often have to start new jobs at a lower level.

The emotional side of family life and women’s ‘triple shift’
Triple shift– Female partners now have three jobs. Paid work, domestic labour and childcare and emotional work

– Duncombe and Marsden (1995) found that many women long term relationships were held together by women, rather then men, putting in the emotional needed to keep the relationship alive.

– Women also take on a more emotionally involved role in childcare such as talking to, listening to understanding and supporting children. This emotional work also involves solving disputes between family members when there are rows.